Read the notice and understand the process

Maine courts commonly use mediation in contested divorce and parental rights cases. A mediator helps the parties discuss possible agreements but does not act as either person’s lawyer or decide the case. Read the scheduling notice carefully, including whether attendance is in person or remote. If you cannot attend, promptly ask the court about the proper procedure for a change rather than assuming an informal message cancels the session.

Address safety before discussing settlement

Tell your lawyer and the mediator about threats, abuse, coercion, or a protection order. Ask what arrangements or court action may be appropriate. Maine law permits waiver of required mediation for extraordinary cause on a supported motion; the court decides that request. Do not assume separate rooms alone resolve every concern. Use a safe way to communicate, and raise the issue early enough for it to receive attention before the scheduled discussion.

Bring proposals that can be checked

For each disputed issue, write a short proposal and identify the records supporting it. A proposed housing payment should connect to actual costs; a contact schedule should work with school and travel. Show what is agreed, what remains disputed, and what information could help close the gap. You can be open to alternatives without abandoning the need to understand them. Avoid making decisions around balances, dates, or assumptions that nobody has confirmed.

Know what advice and review you need

Ask in advance how you will consult your own attorney and how confidentiality applies, including its limits. During the discussion, request clarification of unfamiliar terms and identify anything that needs further review. Financial, parenting, and property provisions can affect one another. For example, an agreement to retain a home may change the practical budget behind a support proposal. Consider the complete arrangement before treating one attractive term as a satisfactory outcome.

Check how an agreement becomes an order

Under Maine’s mediation statute, an agreement on the issues must be written, signed, and presented for court approval as an order. Ask what has been settled and what remains for another court event. Read deadlines and implementation duties carefully, including who prepares the next document. If no agreement is reached, confirm the next step and continue following existing directions. Participation in mediation does not by itself replace the current order or remove scheduled obligations.

Before your next conversation

What to have at hand

  • The mediation notice and all orders affecting participation or contact.
  • A short issue list with practical proposals and supporting records.
  • Questions about safety, separate legal advice, confidentiality, and fees.
  • A list of tasks and unresolved issues to confirm before the session ends.

References: Maine Revised Statutes, Title 19-A, section 251; Maine Judicial Branch, Available Case Types for ADR and How to Get the Most Out of Mediation in Your Family Case. Suitability and court requirements depend on the case.